You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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