But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
