She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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