Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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