I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
