The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
