Small penises have feelings too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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