guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your penis caused this!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize