so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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