Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
