Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
