His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize