After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
