Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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