I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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