why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
