So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we're so committed to being not committed
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
