Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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