I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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