She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so let's talk penis.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
