Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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(214): View more from Texas

No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"

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(818): View more from California

lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy

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(248): View more from Michigan

Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number

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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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(661): View more from California

the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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(937): View more from Ohio

With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

These kind of text worry me.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.

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