Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
