Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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