The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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