Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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