Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love you. Go after that dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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