let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
