so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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