My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Panties = found
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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