he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
