So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
