Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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