The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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