Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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