Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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