i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
