Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize