oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
