Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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