Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
