Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
