well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
