Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
