i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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