sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize