Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
