I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Buhtt sex?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
