My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
