PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
