We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
