fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
