The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You need a sexual gate keeper
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
