I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
