I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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