I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
