Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Let's get the cat blown out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize