You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize