Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
