i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
