I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
