Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
