dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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