so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
